It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
