I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
