I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
