it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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