My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we're so committed to being not committed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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