My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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