So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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