Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
