hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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