yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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