I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dignity is for republicans.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize