im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
