We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
