He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
