I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
