Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
