Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
