Non-Jews are for practice
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's official drugs can't kill me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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