how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
