Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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