And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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