New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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