Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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