i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
