Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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