i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
