I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
