I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
