Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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