She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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