Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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