when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
