Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
