Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
