I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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