Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's like iHOP with fire
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
