Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
