My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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