Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
