I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
