when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
