I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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