you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
