go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
