I wish my penis had an off switch
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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