Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
