I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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