just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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