I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
