Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
